Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
