he puts the penis in happiness.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
