I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
