she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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