I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
What a dumb baby whore.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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