how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
