Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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