she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
