you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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