They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
