We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
