He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
