I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
