my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize