fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
