Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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