If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize