There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
