my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize