yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You've changed since you got that strap on
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
