five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
