at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
