I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize