butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
