ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize