Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
