don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
