Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
