So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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