dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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