So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
