it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
