i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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