I want to walk on stilts...naked
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
this is an emotional support booty call
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
