Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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