no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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