btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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