The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
