wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize