I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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