i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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