DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
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