operation harelip BJ is a go
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize