Tell her she can't have a vagina
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
