Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
