Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
