what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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