I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
