my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
