Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
