we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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