Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
