Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
