no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
