I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
