why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
