Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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