I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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